own thing,” too prone to wander, too fond of the world. Why would God call me to the Christian ministry? I looked at my shortcomings, my failures, my self-disappointments, my inabilities, and my lack of knowledge. After all, I was only 17 years old. What did I have to offer? Why would God want me to represent Him, the Most High God? I did not even like to speak I regularly spend time in self-reflection, introspection, self-examination. I need this time to look at myself as honestly as possible in the light of Calvary’s cross, lest I think more or less of myself than I ought.

During these moments of soul searching and spiritual assessment, I talk with God and ask Him to help me clearly see myself for what I really am. So often David’s Prayer has been my prayer: “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” I petition God to reveal to me the fears that stagnate me, the pains that hinder my being fully His, the doubts that haunts me, the fetters that binds me and refuse to let me go. I pray that God take what little He has in me, and do the best that He can with it for His glory.

Last night, I was reflecting upon my divine call to the Christian ministry. I am always humbled and when I recall the moment when His Spirit spoke to my soul with a stunning command. It was a turning point in my life. I remember hearing those three words that was to become my motivation and perseverance strength: “Feed my sheep.”

Of course, initially, I wondered if it was Satan trying to trick me in some way. Then it occurred to me that Satan would be the last to be influencing me toward God. But I could not accept the possibility that God could be calling me. I was too determined to “do my own thing,” too prone to wander, too fond of the world. Why would God call me to the Christian ministry? I looked at my shortcomings, my failures, my self-disappointments, my inabilities, and my lack of knowledge. After all, I was only 17 years old. What did I have to offer? Why would God want me to represent Him, the Most High God? I did not even like to speak i

am. So often David’s Prayer has been my prayer: “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” I petition God to reveal to me the fears that stagnate me, the pains that hinder my being fully His, the doubts that haunts me, the fetters that binds me and refuse to let me go. I pray that God take what little He has in me, and do the best that He can with it for His glory.

Last night, I was reflecting upon my divine call to the Christian ministry. I am always humbled and when I recall the moment when His Spirit spoke to my soul with a stunning command. It was a turning point in my life. I remember hearing those three words that was to become my motivation and perseverance strength: “Feed my sheep.”

Of course, initially, I wondered if it was Satan trying to trick me in some way. Then it occurred to me that Satan would be the last to be influencing me toward God. But I could not accept the possibility that God could be calling me. I was too determined to “do my own thing,” too prone to wander, too fond of the world. Why would God call me to the Christian ministry? I looked at my shortcomings, my failures, my self-disappointments, my inabilities, and my lack of knowledge. After all, I was only 17 years old. What did I have to offer? Why would God want me to represent Him, the Most High God? I did not even like to speak

me go. I pray that God take what little He has in me, and do the best that He can with it for His glory.

Last night, I was reflecting upon my divine call to the Christian ministry. I am always humbled and when I recall the moment when His Spirit spoke to my soul with a stunning command. It was a turning point in my life. I remember hearing those three words that was to become my motivation and perseverance strength: “Feed my sheep.”

Of course, initially, I wondered if it was Satan trying to trick me in some way. Then it occurred to me that Satan would be the last to be influencing me toward God. But I could not accept the possibility that God could be calling me. I was too determined to “do my own thing,” too prone to wander, too fond of the world. Why would God call me to the Christian ministry? I looked at my shortcomings, my failures, my self-disappointments, my inabilities, and my lack of knowledge. After all, I was only 17 years old. What did I have to offer? Why would God want me to represent Him, the Most High God? I did not even like to speak

that was to become my motivation and perseverance strength: “Feed my sheep.”

Of course, initially, I wondered if it was Satan trying to trick me in some way. Then it occurred to me that Satan would be the last to be influencing me toward God. But I could not accept the possibility that God could be calling me. I was too determined to “do my own thing,” too prone to wander, too fond of the world. Why would God call me to the Christian ministry? I looked at my shortcomings, my failures, my self-disappointments, my inabilities, and my lack of knowledge. After all, I was only 17 years old. What did I have to offer? Why would God want me to represent Him, the Most High God? I did not even like to speak

own thing,” too prone to wander, too fond of the world. Why would God call me to the Christian ministry? I looked at my shortcomings, my failures, my self-disappointments, my inabilities, and my lack of knowledge. After all, I was only 17 years old. What did I have to offer? Why would God want me to represent Him, the Most High God? I did not even like to speak in school before classmates, much less the pulpit.

Why would God call me? I was born into a dysfunctional family where domestic violence was commonplace. I was removed by the state and placed in foster care at the age of two. Even though I was blessed to have had wonderful Christian foster parents, I still could not fathom God calling one such as me.

Furthermore, women in ministry during this time were few and even the few had to cope with bias, rejection and disparaging treatment within the Church. Why would God want me to join in their misery and strife? What is going on, I wondered to myself. Nevertheless, even as I tried to understand my experience and second-guess God, the Holy Spirit was doing His work in me. I began to realize that it must have been God with the summons to His awesome work, because I never would have chosen it for myself.

Paul helped me comprehend my calling in his first letter to the Corinthians, chapter 1, verses 26-28: “think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are”

I remember a sermon preached by my mentor one Sunday that suggested, Jesus passes