with time. You end up terminally alienating your children—if you have any—your co-workers, your wife, pretty much everybody.

Time to listen. So what would listening look like?

Make an appointment with your boss. Tell him something like this:

"I've been thinking abo

Your boss called you in and said you are difficult to get along with and are causing problems not only for him but for other people in the office. He says you resist direction and don't take criticism well. And he says you're too critical of everybody else. But you really think he's exaggerating. You think the people around you are more of a problem than you are, but on the other hand, your wife or girlfriend says the same thing about you that your boss does. What do you do?

Listen to what these people are saying. There's an old saying that if one person tells you that you're a horse, you can ignore it. If two people tell you, you might think about it. If three people tell you, buy a saddle. Your boss, your co-workers, and your wife are all telling you a similar story. It's time to listen.

Why listen? Because if you don't, it sounds quite likely that you'll lose your job. And if you're doing this at home, and your wife is telling you about it, and you're ignoring her—which you have been so far—there's no way your marriage is fulfilling. And if you keep this up, the consequences will get worse and worse with time. You end up terminally alienating your children—if you have any—your co-workers, your wife, pretty much everybody.

Time to listen. So what would listening look like?

Make an appointment with your boss. Tell him something like this:

"I've been thinking abou

exaggerating. You think the people around you are more of a problem than you are, but on the other hand, your wife or girlfriend says the same thing about you that your boss does. What do you do?

Listen to what these people are saying. There's an old saying that if one person tells you that you're a horse, you can ignore it. If two people tell you, you might think about it. If three people tell you, buy a saddle. Your boss, your co-workers, and your wife are all telling you a similar story. It's time to listen.

Why listen? Because if you don't, it sounds quite likely that you'll lose your job. And if you're doing this at home, and your wife is telling you about it, and you're ignoring her—which you have been so far—there's no way your marriage is fulfilling. And if you keep this up, the consequences will get worse and worse with time. You end up terminally alienating your children—if you have any—your co-workers, your wife, pretty much everybody.

Time to listen. So what would listening look like?

Make an appointment with your boss. Tell him something like this:

"I've been thinking abo

tells you that you're a horse, you can ignore it. If two people tell you, you might think about it. If three people tell you, buy a saddle. Your boss, your co-workers, and your wife are all telling you a similar story. It's time to listen.

Why listen? Because if you don't, it sounds quite likely that you'll lose your job. And if you're doing this at home, and your wife is telling you about it, and you're ignoring her—which you have been so far—there's no way your marriage is fulfilling. And if you keep this up, the consequences will get worse and worse with time. You end up terminally alienating your children—if you have any—your co-workers, your wife, pretty much everybody.

Time to listen. So what would listening look like?

Make an appointment with your boss. Tell him something like this:

"I've been thinking abo

sounds quite likely that you'll lose your job. And if you're doing this at home, and your wife is telling you about it, and you're ignoring her—which you have been so far—there's no way your marriage is fulfilling. And if you keep this up, the consequences will get worse and worse with time. You end up terminally alienating your children—if you have any—your co-workers, your wife, pretty much everybody.

Time to listen. So what would listening look like?

Make an appointment with your boss. Tell him something like this:

"I've been thinking abo

with time. You end up terminally alienating your children—if you have any—your co-workers, your wife, pretty much everybody.

Time to listen. So what would listening look like?

Make an appointment with your boss. Tell him something like this:

"I've been thinking about what you said to me, and it has to be true. You're seeing these characteristics in me, other people at work are, and my wife is, so it seems pretty unlikely that everybody is making this up. The only reason I resisted you when you talked to me the other day is that I am literally blind to these behaviors in myself. I guess I've been acting like this with people for so long that I just don't know that I'm doing it. So I want you to know two things: First, I really did not realize what I was doing; and second, I don't want to keep doing it."

"So I'm going to need some help here. If you're willing, I'd like to meet with you periodically so you can point out some specific instances of my behaviors that would help me realize the overall pattern, so I can begin to change my behavior. I'm also going to be asking my wife to do this, so I can get all the feedback I can. Would you be willing to do that?"

As you do this, you'll be demonstrating to your boss that you're serious about listening and about changing. Then do the same thing with your wife. Ask her to tell you about the things you're doing that are int