Emotional trauma happens as a result of any experience that leaves us feeling threatened, helpless and overwhelmed. Persistent trauma can result into post traumatic stress, anxiety and depression. Fortunately we can get over our trauma. Getting emotional and spiritual support immediately after realizing one is heading for a divorce (or after you’ve read this article) can dramatically decrease the possibility of developing traumatic symptoms.

These symptoms include feeling overwhelmed, helpless, distressed, scared, lacking confidence, low self-esteem and sadness. The healing stage will only start after we begin to deal with the symptoms of divorce. This may include self blame, fear of rejection and fear of failure, if we take things personally. The truth is that a lot of times, things didn’t just work out, it is not our fault.

We have to free ourselves from any negative mindset (way of thinking), developed as a result of divorce. Negative mindset can hinder our self-esteem confidence and wellbeing. When we lose our insecurity, by taking conscious steps to move on, we can start rebuilding our lives and self image. Then divorce will become a new start, as opposed to the end of our world.

9 Helpful Tips For Recovering From The Ex Factor:

1. Get over the blame game. It is doesn’t matter whose fault it is, blame is unproductive, it won’t bring the person back and it just causes more pain. We need to express our controlled anger, but we also have to move on emotionally. We must not repress our anger. This would only leads to hostility bitterness and resentment. Holding on to anger, is like holding on to emotional poison. We have to let go, or it will cause harm: Ephesians 4:26-27 - “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”
2. Forgiveness is the doorway to a new life of freedom. Bitterness weakens and destroys. Even though we are for unity, separation happens sometimes. The key to emotional freedom is forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of our ill feelings about a person, so that we can heal. It is not the same as reconciling, although it can lead to reconciling. Many people reconcile, or even become friends, after forgiveness and emotional healing. We need to pray for empowerment. God is our strength. He is able to make us whole again. By healing us, mentally, emotionally and spiritually: Psalm 46:1- “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”
3. Divorce forces change on people. It requires learning new coping skills. This will involve renewing their way of thinking, as opposed to thinking like a couple. It needs emotional makeover: Romans 12:2a - “Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], (AMP)”
4. Divorce is a good time for working on spiritual and emotional growth. We can turn our trauma to our triumph, by using it to grow. We must use this to seek God, who wants to help us, more: Psalm 121:1-2 - “I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth (NIV).”
5. No experience is wasted. The time you spent together with the ex, is a gift. You can learn from the good and bad memories. All experiences have lessons they can teach us. We can use them to increase our chances next time. Denial just makes people stuck. They continue to repeat the same kind of mistakes, because they haven’t acknowledged their bad decision skills. We can’t change, learn or move on, unless we acknowledge and accept the need for change/growth.
6. By taking special care of ourselves. We must focus on what is working in our lives, until we become emotionally healed. Our thoughts have strong impact on us. They can affect our feelings and wellbeing. We need choose careful what thoughts we allow in our mind. To become emotionally strong, we have to only allow only empowering thoughts and reject the negative ones, as the lie of the devil, in the name of Jesus: Philippians 4:8 - “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (NIV).
7. We need to maintain our joy; else we become weakened on top of everything else. Everyday is a gift. That is why it is called the present (laughs): Nehemiah 8:10b - “This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength (NIV)."
8. By changing our bad habits and eliminating destructive patterns. Our thoughts usually become our speeches, while our speeches usually become our decisions and actions. Our decisions and actions usually become our habit, while our habits usually become our mentality. We must watch our patterns, less we create ones. We have to hold our negative thoughts and imaginations captive, by rejecting them in the name of Jesus: 2 Corinthians 10:5 - “casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ; (ASV)”
9. God recognizes that separation sometimes have to foll
   Mortgage Loans 101: What's a Balloon Loan?
   When buying a home and evaluating your mortgage loan options, you'll likely encounter the term "balloon loan." This type of loan allows you to make fixed payments for a certain period of time, but then requires you to pay off the remaining balance in one lump-sum payment.Key Points of the Balloon Loan The interest rate on a balloon mortgage loan is almost always lower than the interest rate on a traditional 15- or 30-year mortgage loan. This is the primary benefit offered by this type of loan.The result of the lower interest rate, of course, is a lower overall monthly payment.Balloon mortgage loans usually have a term of five to seven years. After that, you must pay off the remaining balance in full (either by refinancing or paying out of pocket).Some balloon loans can be convert
   ake things personally. The truth is that a lot of times, things didn’t just work out, it is not our fault.

   We have to free ourselves from any negative mindset (way of thinking), developed as a result of divorce. Negative mindset can hinder our self-esteem confidence and wellbeing. When we lose our insecurity, by taking conscious steps to move on, we can start rebuilding our lives and self image. Then divorce will become a new start, as opposed to the end of our world.

   9 Helpful Tips For Recovering From The Ex Factor:

   1. Get over the blame game. It is doesn’t matter whose fault it is, blame is unproductive, it won’t bring the person back and it just causes more pain. We need to express our controlled anger, but we also have to move on emotionally. We must not repress our anger. This would only leads to hostility bitterness and resentment. Holding on to anger, is like holding on to emotional poison. We have to let go, or it will cause harm: Ephesians 4:26-27 - “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”
   2. Forgiveness is the doorway to a new life of freedom. Bitterness weakens and destroys. Even though we are for unity, separation happens sometimes. The key to emotional freedom is forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of our ill feelings about a person, so that we can heal. It is not the same as reconciling, although it can lead to reconciling. Many people reconcile, or even become friends, after forgiveness and emotional healing. We need to pray for empowerment. God is our strength. He is able to make us whole again. By healing us, mentally, emotionally and spiritually: Psalm 46:1- “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”
   3. Divorce forces change on people. It requires learning new coping skills. This will involve renewing their way of thinking, as opposed to thinking like a couple. It needs emotional makeover: Romans 12:2a - “Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], (AMP)”
   4. Divorce is a good time for working on spiritual and emotional growth. We can turn our trauma to our triumph, by using it to grow. We must use this to seek God, who wants to help us, more: Psalm 121:1-2 - “I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth (NIV).”
   5. No experience is wasted. The time you spent together with the ex, is a gift. You can learn from the good and bad memories. All experiences have lessons they can teach us. We can use them to increase our chances next time. Denial just makes people stuck. They continue to repeat the same kind of mistakes, because they haven’t acknowledged their bad decision skills. We can’t change, learn or move on, unless we acknowledge and accept the need for change/growth.
   6. By taking special care of ourselves. We must focus on what is working in our lives, until we become emotionally healed. Our thoughts have strong impact on us. They can affect our feelings and wellbeing. We need choose careful what thoughts we allow in our mind. To become emotionally strong, we have to only allow only empowering thoughts and reject the negative ones, as the lie of the devil, in the name of Jesus: Philippians 4:8 - “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (NIV).
   7. We need to maintain our joy; else we become weakened on top of everything else. Everyday is a gift. That is why it is called the present (laughs): Nehemiah 8:10b - “This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength (NIV)."
   8. By changing our bad habits and eliminating destructive patterns. Our thoughts usually become our speeches, while our speeches usually become our decisions and actions. Our decisions and actions usually become our habit, while our habits usually become our mentality. We must watch our patterns, less we create ones. We have to hold our negative thoughts and imaginations captive, by rejecting them in the name of Jesus: 2 Corinthians 10:5 - “casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ; (ASV)”
   9. God recognizes that separation sometimes have to fol
      Bag Those Apples
      Honestly, I'm not a bag person. I don't even know the difference between a tote and a handbag. (Wait, they are different, right?) Anyway, I don't like carrying bags and my general rule is, if I can't fit it in my pocket, it's not going with me. However, all these changed when I went freelance and got myself an Apple laptop. I mean, I carry my business with me, and often I need to give presentations to prospective clients. Apple would give me the sophistication I lacked. Back to bags, a friend gave me one as a gift to my new freelance business. I told him that I don't need nor want one. Then he asked me the question I haven't even thought about. How am I going to carry my laptop? I gave him a grin and asked for the bag back. Call these things anything you want: computer bags, laptop bags, laptop cases, computer carrying case, laptop carrying case; I call th
      m. Bitterness weakens and destroys. Even though we are for unity, separation happens sometimes. The key to emotional freedom is forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of our ill feelings about a person, so that we can heal. It is not the same as reconciling, although it can lead to reconciling. Many people reconcile, or even become friends, after forgiveness and emotional healing. We need to pray for empowerment. God is our strength. He is able to make us whole again. By healing us, mentally, emotionally and spiritually: Psalm 46:1- “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”
   10. Divorce forces change on people. It requires learning new coping skills. This will involve renewing their way of thinking, as opposed to thinking like a couple. It needs emotional makeover: Romans 12:2a - “Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], (AMP)”
   11. Divorce is a good time for working on spiritual and emotional growth. We can turn our trauma to our triumph, by using it to grow. We must use this to seek God, who wants to help us, more: Psalm 121:1-2 - “I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth (NIV).”
   12. No experience is wasted. The time you spent together with the ex, is a gift. You can learn from the good and bad memories. All experiences have lessons they can teach us. We can use them to increase our chances next time. Denial just makes people stuck. They continue to repeat the same kind of mistakes, because they haven’t acknowledged their bad decision skills. We can’t change, learn or move on, unless we acknowledge and accept the need for change/growth.
   13. By taking special care of ourselves. We must focus on what is working in our lives, until we become emotionally healed. Our thoughts have strong impact on us. They can affect our feelings and wellbeing. We need choose careful what thoughts we allow in our mind. To become emotionally strong, we have to only allow only empowering thoughts and reject the negative ones, as the lie of the devil, in the name of Jesus: Philippians 4:8 - “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (NIV).
   14. We need to maintain our joy; else we become weakened on top of everything else. Everyday is a gift. That is why it is called the present (laughs): Nehemiah 8:10b - “This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength (NIV)."
   15. By changing our bad habits and eliminating destructive patterns. Our thoughts usually become our speeches, while our speeches usually become our decisions and actions. Our decisions and actions usually become our habit, while our habits usually become our mentality. We must watch our patterns, less we create ones. We have to hold our negative thoughts and imaginations captive, by rejecting them in the name of Jesus: 2 Corinthians 10:5 - “casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ; (ASV)”
   16. God recognizes that separation sometimes have to fol
       Secrets to Choosing a Cheap Merchant Account
       Since the inception of the internet, trade has been taken into a new dimension. A digital age where everything is available and transactions are processed quickly and professionally. It has given rise to a new requirement for online business – a cheap merchant account.Business and business transactions are made easier and cost efficient with a cheap merchant account. They are necessary for any online business as a cheap merchant account is the best method to accept and process credit card transactions. Any serious internet business should seek out a cheap merchant account as one of its initial goals.A Cheap Merchant Account Is a Top PriorityThe significance of finding and using a cheap merchant accounts can never be underrated, as they are the cheapest and most efficient way to accept credit card payments. A cheap merchant accou
       ur triumph, by using it to grow. We must use this to seek God, who wants to help us, more: Psalm 121:1-2 - “I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth (NIV).”
   17. No experience is wasted. The time you spent together with the ex, is a gift. You can learn from the good and bad memories. All experiences have lessons they can teach us. We can use them to increase our chances next time. Denial just makes people stuck. They continue to repeat the same kind of mistakes, because they haven’t acknowledged their bad decision skills. We can’t change, learn or move on, unless we acknowledge and accept the need for change/growth.
   18. By taking special care of ourselves. We must focus on what is working in our lives, until we become emotionally healed. Our thoughts have strong impact on us. They can affect our feelings and wellbeing. We need choose careful what thoughts we allow in our mind. To become emotionally strong, we have to only allow only empowering thoughts and reject the negative ones, as the lie of the devil, in the name of Jesus: Philippians 4:8 - “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (NIV).
   19. We need to maintain our joy; else we become weakened on top of everything else. Everyday is a gift. That is why it is called the present (laughs): Nehemiah 8:10b - “This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength (NIV)."
   20. By changing our bad habits and eliminating destructive patterns. Our thoughts usually become our speeches, while our speeches usually become our decisions and actions. Our decisions and actions usually become our habit, while our habits usually become our mentality. We must watch our patterns, less we create ones. We have to hold our negative thoughts and imaginations captive, by rejecting them in the name of Jesus: 2 Corinthians 10:5 - “casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ; (ASV)”
   21. God recognizes that separation sometimes have to fol
       Why And When Do Creditors Discount
       Creditors do not discount because they like it. They only discount if they are cornered into the unpleasant situation of loosing in their investment. In other words creditors discount because if they don’t they will loose even more. The higher the chance they will get paid at the auction sale, the lesser the chance they will discount, if at all. The lower the chance they will get paid at auction, the higher the chance and amount creditors will discount.Creditors discount debt secured by real property based on their convenience and risk. If they will surely get paid they will not discount at all. If they will most likely get paid most of what they are owed they will discount somewhat. If they will definitely loose an amount but still get something at the auction, they will discount based on how much are they sure to ge
       ly, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (NIV).
   22. We need to maintain our joy; else we become weakened on top of everything else. Everyday is a gift. That is why it is called the present (laughs): Nehemiah 8:10b - “This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength (NIV)."
   23. By changing our bad habits and eliminating destructive patterns. Our thoughts usually become our speeches, while our speeches usually become our decisions and actions. Our decisions and actions usually become our habit, while our habits usually become our mentality. We must watch our patterns, less we create ones. We have to hold our negative thoughts and imaginations captive, by rejecting them in the name of Jesus: 2 Corinthians 10:5 - “casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ; (ASV)”
   24. God recognizes that separation sometimes have to follow unfaithfulness. We mustn’t knock ourselves, if it has already happened. When we see divorce as a new beginning, we can become empowered by it: Jeremiah 3:8 - “Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also (NKJV).”

   Please leave a short comment by clicking the post a comment link, at the top right of this article. Your feedback means the world to me. You can also email at Jumie@onetel.com I am putting together an online community that will empower people. I will like you to become part of it, and become empowered and learn to control your feelings, instead of them controlling you.

   © Copyright Henrietta Elegunde. Please feel free to distribute free of charge, but always include my details (from the resource box) below.