Will You Add? - Listening Builds Trust

Their response typically is: "Oh, he never listens to me." Or: "Yes, but she hasn't done anything about it; she never does." When that happens a few times, people stop sharing their ideas.

The most successful organizations make sure people listen...to employees, to customers, to outside opinion leaders, to critics. Listening builds trust and respect. Listening solves problems.

But listening is not easy You've had a lifetime of not listening well. And you are just like most of the rest of the world.

It is no wonder we aren't better listeners:

• It is not taught in school.
• No one ever listened to us when we were kids, for the most part. We have no role models we can emulate.
• The most typical responses we get when we are frustrated, hurt or angry are non-acceptance. Others tell us we shouldn't feel that way because it really is not that important. (This response tells us our feelings have no validity to the other person.)

That's right. Across your lips. I call this the ZIP-IT tool. This passive listening tip works wonders when you remember to use it. But to be even more effective when listening, occasionally feed back a very brief summary of what you heard - paraphrase. Or simply repeat the last word or two someone says. They will usually keep right on talking.

Avoid the temptation to change the subject or take over the conversation. It is natural when talking with others to want to tell them what you are thinking. Most of us are much more interested in what we have to say than what someone else is saying. While listening, our brains are constantly thinking of images, sounds and feelings related to what we have heard. Our brains race along at about 4-5 times the speed of the words we are hearing. It is hard to pay attention.

I have been very fortunate in life because I learned active listening beginning when my first child was a year old. That was 36 years ago - and I've worked many years to get better at it. I wanted to be a better father than mine. I wanted to build a relationship with my son, which I didn't enjoy with my dad. (I had to wait till I was grown before my dad and I learned to love each other and share our feelings.)

The magic of listening When I teach managers and leaders listening skills, magic starts to happen.

• An insurance company manager said he had had the longest conversation ever with his teen-age daughter. They talked for over an hour after she told him he wasn't listening and he remembered his training. He was overjoyed and so was she.
• A school superintendent told me that phones in principal's offices were ringing less often after his staff had begun to listen before jumping into problem solving.
• Automatic Doors For Security And Pleasure
  Automatic doors and good secure access control used to be two totally different types of door entry systems. With modern materials and high-tech design it is possible to combine access control and automatic doors without compromising security, yet still maintaining entry systems that are pleasing to the eye. When we talk of security in the same topic as entrances, it often relates to safety and fire as well as access control.In many places we almost expect doors to op
  and respect. Listening solves problems.

  But listening is not easy You've had a lifetime of not listening well. And you are just like most of the rest of the world.

  It is no wonder we aren't better listeners:

  • It is not taught in school.
  • No one ever listened to us when we were kids, for the most part. We have no role models we can emulate.
  • The most typical responses we get when we are frustrated, hurt or angry are non-acceptance. Others tell us we shouldn't feel that way because it really is not that important. (This response tells us our feelings have no validity to the other person.)
  Here is one effective way to remember to be a good listener. Create an imaginary new tool for your communication toolbox. It is a piece of cloth about six-inches long and one-inch wide. A zipper goes down the middle, but it doesn't open. On the back is an adhesive that allows you to stick it on other surfaces. Where do you think you should put it?

  That's right. Across your lips. I call this the ZIP-IT tool. This passive listening tip works wonders when you remember to use it. But to be even more effective when listening, occasionally feed back a very brief summary of what you heard - paraphrase. Or simply repeat the last word or two someone says. They will usually keep right on talking.

  Avoid the temptation to change the subject or take over the conversation. It is natural when talking with others to want to tell them what you are thinking. Most of us are much more interested in what we have to say than what someone else is saying. While listening, our brains are constantly thinking of images, sounds and feelings related to what we have heard. Our brains race along at about 4-5 times the speed of the words we are hearing. It is hard to pay attention.

  I have been very fortunate in life because I learned active listening beginning when my first child was a year old. That was 36 years ago - and I've worked many years to get better at it. I wanted to be a better father than mine. I wanted to build a relationship with my son, which I didn't enjoy with my dad. (I had to wait till I was grown before my dad and I learned to love each other and share our feelings.)

  The magic of listening When I teach managers and leaders listening skills, magic starts to happen.

  • An insurance company manager said he had had the longest conversation ever with his teen-age daughter. They talked for over an hour after she told him he wasn't listening and he remembered his training. He was overjoyed and so was she.
  • A school superintendent told me that phones in principal's offices were ringing less often after his staff had begun to listen before jumping into problem solving.
  Brand is About Support
  Support for brands such as products or services make the brand even stronger. A brand cannot stand by itself it must have not only quality and performance to support the name, it must also have service. By service we mean that if something goes wrong, the company will make sure repairs happen in a timely fashion or replacements are done immediately. I really dislike it when I buy a product that I will need to cook a BBQ dinner and then the rotisserie does not stand up to thee a good listener. Create an imaginary new tool for your communication toolbox. It is a piece of cloth about six-inches long and one-inch wide. A zipper goes down the middle, but it doesn't open. On the back is an adhesive that allows you to stick it on other surfaces. Where do you think you should put it?

  That's right. Across your lips. I call this the ZIP-IT tool. This passive listening tip works wonders when you remember to use it. But to be even more effective when listening, occasionally feed back a very brief summary of what you heard - paraphrase. Or simply repeat the last word or two someone says. They will usually keep right on talking.

  Avoid the temptation to change the subject or take over the conversation. It is natural when talking with others to want to tell them what you are thinking. Most of us are much more interested in what we have to say than what someone else is saying. While listening, our brains are constantly thinking of images, sounds and feelings related to what we have heard. Our brains race along at about 4-5 times the speed of the words we are hearing. It is hard to pay attention.

  I have been very fortunate in life because I learned active listening beginning when my first child was a year old. That was 36 years ago - and I've worked many years to get better at it. I wanted to be a better father than mine. I wanted to build a relationship with my son, which I didn't enjoy with my dad. (I had to wait till I was grown before my dad and I learned to love each other and share our feelings.)

  The magic of listening When I teach managers and leaders listening skills, magic starts to happen.

  • An insurance company manager said he had had the longest conversation ever with his teen-age daughter. They talked for over an hour after she told him he wasn't listening and he remembered his training. He was overjoyed and so was she.
  • A school superintendent told me that phones in principal's offices were ringing less often after his staff had begun to listen before jumping into problem solving.
  Business Card Etiquette
  When doing business abroad it is important to understand the local culture. Culture includes areas such as a country’s norms, values, behaviours, food, architecture, fashion and art. However, one area of culture that is important for the international business person is etiquette. Understanding business etiquette allows you to feel comfortable in your dealings with foreign friends, colleagues, customers or clients. Knowing what to do and say in the right places will ject or take over the conversation. It is natural when talking with others to want to tell them what you are thinking. Most of us are much more interested in what we have to say than what someone else is saying. While listening, our brains are constantly thinking of images, sounds and feelings related to what we have heard. Our brains race along at about 4-5 times the speed of the words we are hearing. It is hard to pay attention.

  I have been very fortunate in life because I learned active listening beginning when my first child was a year old. That was 36 years ago - and I've worked many years to get better at it. I wanted to be a better father than mine. I wanted to build a relationship with my son, which I didn't enjoy with my dad. (I had to wait till I was grown before my dad and I learned to love each other and share our feelings.)

  The magic of listening When I teach managers and leaders listening skills, magic starts to happen.

  • An insurance company manager said he had had the longest conversation ever with his teen-age daughter. They talked for over an hour after she told him he wasn't listening and he remembered his training. He was overjoyed and so was she.
  • A school superintendent told me that phones in principal's offices were ringing less often after his staff had begun to listen before jumping into problem solving.
  Should We Admit Failure?
  Failure is something that none of us ever plans for but it is a part of the human condition. As we go through our lives there are few if any who have never experienced this phenomenon. So as we experience failure, how do we accept it and move on if we are unable to admit it?I am not suggesting that when we fail that we broadcast our failure to the world at large. I am suggesting though that admitting failure is a necessary tool that we must use if we are ever to be su with my son, which I didn't enjoy with my dad. (I had to wait till I was grown before my dad and I learned to love each other and share our feelings.)

  The magic of listening When I teach managers and leaders listening skills, magic starts to happen.

  • An insurance company manager said he had had the longest conversation ever with his teen-age daughter. They talked for over an hour after she told him he wasn't listening and he remembered his training. He was overjoyed and so was she.
  • A school superintendent told me that phones in principal's offices were ringing less often after his staff had begun to listen before jumping into problem solving.
  • Managers say problems between different parts of the organization get solved. People begin to understand the viewpoints and needs of others.
  Make listening a daily goal until it becomes a habit. Teach others to do it. You will reap many benefits. And people will love you for it. You will begin to build trust!

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