tail, perhaps we have to look at our lack of patience. If poor communications led to the downfall, a candid look at our ability to listen and empathize might uncover some opportunities for improvement. If our fear of confrontation kept us from speaking with an employee about his unethical behavior or poor client communications skills, then we have to take a good, hard look at what causes that fear. This is the stuff of leadership. Growing as a leader first requires growth as a person. Whatever missteps we took, there was a character flaw behind them, so take a fearless inventory of your weaknesses. If you have a mentor—this is the time to speak with him or her. If you don’t—that’s a problem. Get one. You need a person who can guide you in this type of “inside job” growth. I believe one reason the “coaching” industry has grown so rapidly is because mentoring has become nearly a lost art.

#5. Forgive yourself and move on. A great leader once said, “Leave the past behind.” If we spend all our time mulling over our wrongs, then we are spending far too much time thinking about ourselves and not near enough time focusing on moving forward in the solution. Forget being the martyr. There is nothing less inspiring than a want-to-be leader lamenting without end their wrongs. Identify the m

My mother always said that I had a special knack for “turning lemons into lemonade.” That’s something of a dubious virtue to have, because it means I’ve had plenty of opportunities to salvage treasure from trash in my life. But that is exactly what I’ve done, and will continue to do.

As a leader, if you’ve played the game long enough, and have swung the bat enough times, you probably have a few base hits scattered among your many home runs. If the truth be told, you may have a few strikeouts, too—a few lemons, as it were. We hear a lot of talk about success strategies for leaders and businesses today but we rarely speak of the unspeakable: Failure.

Ouch! It hurts to even write it because we’ve gotten so politically sensitive that “problems” are now “opportunities” and “failures” have become “challenges,” as in: “We experienced some challenges on the last project we executed for that client and we uncovered some opportunities for improvement.”

What?

If problems have become “opportunities,” what, then, are real opportunities? Problems? This Orwellian double-speak is no help to a leader who is intent on growing from his failures.

What we really mean is this: “We failed. And we discovered some problems we have as a result of that failure.”

Let’s start saying what we mean.

A great leader is not broken by failure. If he does the right thing when failure comes, and it will come, he can turn those dark days into light, that base metal into gold, that trash into treasure and those failures into success. That’s the opportunity part; but it only comes after the failure part.

Winston Churchill once defined success as “going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

Remember – a leader’s composure, mood, outlook, actions and vision impact the entire organization and all the people in it. How you handle failure says more about you than how you handle success. Learn to deal effectively with it and you will grow as a person, leader and mentor.

This is a ten-point strategy to make lemonade out of your lemons. When failure comes, take out a piece of paper and begin the process of alchemy by following this ten-point strategy. It’s essential this be done on paper—not in your head.

#1. Recognize it, and name it. It has been said that pain is God’s megaphone and He uses it to get our attention. It is when our mistakes cause pain, discomfort, loss or worse that we recognize there is a problem. Unless we have a courageous and trusting counselor or subordinate who is willing to tell us when we are heading in the wrong direction (and the higher up the ladder we climb, the fewer they become) we are rarely graced with the criticism we need to avoid mistakes. However, whether someone points it out to us or the pain we begin to experience alerts us to the mistake, we eventually are forced to recognize the symptoms or consequences of our mistake. Once we see it, we must name it. Call it what it is. Isolate it. Label it. Shake hands with it. And say it out loud. Then write it down: miserable handling of a crisis; terrible performance in a press conference; financial loss; stock plummeted; criminal behavior by a once-trusted employee; a failed product; no return on a marketing investment; and so forth. See it. Isolate it. Name it.

#2. Take responsibility for your part in it. Recognizing and naming the mistake is one thing; “owning” your part in it is yet another. If we spend all of our time pointing fingers at others and never take responsibility for our part in the failures we face, we will never learn, and wisdom will elude us forever. We must see our part in the failure. This is accomplished in two ways: 1) admit to yourself that you played a role in it in one way or another; 2) let your organization know that you are taking responsibility for your part in it, after you complete identifying your role in it through this process. If you don’t communicate it in clear, straight talking words, you will not be taking ownership of the failure in the eyes of your people, and they will infer you are passing the buck. Say it out loud, after receiving some coaching as to how to say it.

#3. Analyze the steps that led to failure. After realization and accountability, a cool, calm and collected look back at what steps—or missteps—you took to get to the point of failure is necessary. It’s very helpful to have others give input to this stage, preferably those with less emotional closeness to the issue. The employee who committed a crime under your tutelage was the symptom—the poor hiring process and failure of judgment on the part of those involved in the hiring of this person were some of the factors that contributed to this failure. Identify clearly the things that went wrong that led to the failure. Write them down. Again, I stress, having input from those not directly involved will help you approach this step with great objectivity. Be open to their outside insights.

#4. Take inventory of the behavioral shortcomings that contributed to the missteps. Our wrong actions that lead to failure are merely symptoms of deeper problems. If failure resulted from lack of attention to detail, perhaps we have to look at our lack of patience. If poor communications led to the downfall, a candid look at our ability to listen and empathize might uncover some opportunities for improvement. If our fear of confrontation kept us from speaking with an employee about his unethical behavior or poor client communications skills, then we have to take a good, hard look at what causes that fear. This is the stuff of leadership. Growing as a leader first requires growth as a person. Whatever missteps we took, there was a character flaw behind them, so take a fearless inventory of your weaknesses. If you have a mentor—this is the time to speak with him or her. If you don’t—that’s a problem. Get one. You need a person who can guide you in this type of “inside job” growth. I believe one reason the “coaching” industry has grown so rapidly is because mentoring has become nearly a lost art.

#5. Forgive yourself and move on. A great leader once said, “Leave the past behind.” If we spend all our time mulling over our wrongs, then we are spending far too much time thinking about ourselves and not near enough time focusing on moving forward in the solution. Forget being the martyr. There is nothing less inspiring than a want-to-be leader lamenting without end their wrongs. Identify the m

ying what we mean.

A great leader is not broken by failure. If he does the right thing when failure comes, and it will come, he can turn those dark days into light, that base metal into gold, that trash into treasure and those failures into success. That’s the opportunity part; but it only comes after the failure part.

Winston Churchill once defined success as “going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

Remember – a leader’s composure, mood, outlook, actions and vision impact the entire organization and all the people in it. How you handle failure says more about you than how you handle success. Learn to deal effectively with it and you will grow as a person, leader and mentor.

This is a ten-point strategy to make lemonade out of your lemons. When failure comes, take out a piece of paper and begin the process of alchemy by following this ten-point strategy. It’s essential this be done on paper—not in your head.

#1. Recognize it, and name it. It has been said that pain is God’s megaphone and He uses it to get our attention. It is when our mistakes cause pain, discomfort, loss or worse that we recognize there is a problem. Unless we have a courageous and trusting counselor or subordinate who is willing to tell us when we are heading in the wrong direction (and the higher up the ladder we climb, the fewer they become) we are rarely graced with the criticism we need to avoid mistakes. However, whether someone points it out to us or the pain we begin to experience alerts us to the mistake, we eventually are forced to recognize the symptoms or consequences of our mistake. Once we see it, we must name it. Call it what it is. Isolate it. Label it. Shake hands with it. And say it out loud. Then write it down: miserable handling of a crisis; terrible performance in a press conference; financial loss; stock plummeted; criminal behavior by a once-trusted employee; a failed product; no return on a marketing investment; and so forth. See it. Isolate it. Name it.

#2. Take responsibility for your part in it. Recognizing and naming the mistake is one thing; “owning” your part in it is yet another. If we spend all of our time pointing fingers at others and never take responsibility for our part in the failures we face, we will never learn, and wisdom will elude us forever. We must see our part in the failure. This is accomplished in two ways: 1) admit to yourself that you played a role in it in one way or another; 2) let your organization know that you are taking responsibility for your part in it, after you complete identifying your role in it through this process. If you don’t communicate it in clear, straight talking words, you will not be taking ownership of the failure in the eyes of your people, and they will infer you are passing the buck. Say it out loud, after receiving some coaching as to how to say it.

#3. Analyze the steps that led to failure. After realization and accountability, a cool, calm and collected look back at what steps—or missteps—you took to get to the point of failure is necessary. It’s very helpful to have others give input to this stage, preferably those with less emotional closeness to the issue. The employee who committed a crime under your tutelage was the symptom—the poor hiring process and failure of judgment on the part of those involved in the hiring of this person were some of the factors that contributed to this failure. Identify clearly the things that went wrong that led to the failure. Write them down. Again, I stress, having input from those not directly involved will help you approach this step with great objectivity. Be open to their outside insights.

#4. Take inventory of the behavioral shortcomings that contributed to the missteps. Our wrong actions that lead to failure are merely symptoms of deeper problems. If failure resulted from lack of attention to detail, perhaps we have to look at our lack of patience. If poor communications led to the downfall, a candid look at our ability to listen and empathize might uncover some opportunities for improvement. If our fear of confrontation kept us from speaking with an employee about his unethical behavior or poor client communications skills, then we have to take a good, hard look at what causes that fear. This is the stuff of leadership. Growing as a leader first requires growth as a person. Whatever missteps we took, there was a character flaw behind them, so take a fearless inventory of your weaknesses. If you have a mentor—this is the time to speak with him or her. If you don’t—that’s a problem. Get one. You need a person who can guide you in this type of “inside job” growth. I believe one reason the “coaching” industry has grown so rapidly is because mentoring has become nearly a lost art.

#5. Forgive yourself and move on. A great leader once said, “Leave the past behind.” If we spend all our time mulling over our wrongs, then we are spending far too much time thinking about ourselves and not near enough time focusing on moving forward in the solution. Forget being the martyr. There is nothing less inspiring than a want-to-be leader lamenting without end their wrongs. Identify the m

ong direction (and the higher up the ladder we climb, the fewer they become) we are rarely graced with the criticism we need to avoid mistakes. However, whether someone points it out to us or the pain we begin to experience alerts us to the mistake, we eventually are forced to recognize the symptoms or consequences of our mistake. Once we see it, we must name it. Call it what it is. Isolate it. Label it. Shake hands with it. And say it out loud. Then write it down: miserable handling of a crisis; terrible performance in a press conference; financial loss; stock plummeted; criminal behavior by a once-trusted employee; a failed product; no return on a marketing investment; and so forth. See it. Isolate it. Name it.

#2. Take responsibility for your part in it. Recognizing and naming the mistake is one thing; “owning” your part in it is yet another. If we spend all of our time pointing fingers at others and never take responsibility for our part in the failures we face, we will never learn, and wisdom will elude us forever. We must see our part in the failure. This is accomplished in two ways: 1) admit to yourself that you played a role in it in one way or another; 2) let your organization know that you are taking responsibility for your part in it, after you complete identifying your role in it through this process. If you don’t communicate it in clear, straight talking words, you will not be taking ownership of the failure in the eyes of your people, and they will infer you are passing the buck. Say it out loud, after receiving some coaching as to how to say it.

#3. Analyze the steps that led to failure. After realization and accountability, a cool, calm and collected look back at what steps—or missteps—you took to get to the point of failure is necessary. It’s very helpful to have others give input to this stage, preferably those with less emotional closeness to the issue. The employee who committed a crime under your tutelage was the symptom—the poor hiring process and failure of judgment on the part of those involved in the hiring of this person were some of the factors that contributed to this failure. Identify clearly the things that went wrong that led to the failure. Write them down. Again, I stress, having input from those not directly involved will help you approach this step with great objectivity. Be open to their outside insights.

#4. Take inventory of the behavioral shortcomings that contributed to the missteps. Our wrong actions that lead to failure are merely symptoms of deeper problems. If failure resulted from lack of attention to detail, perhaps we have to look at our lack of patience. If poor communications led to the downfall, a candid look at our ability to listen and empathize might uncover some opportunities for improvement. If our fear of confrontation kept us from speaking with an employee about his unethical behavior or poor client communications skills, then we have to take a good, hard look at what causes that fear. This is the stuff of leadership. Growing as a leader first requires growth as a person. Whatever missteps we took, there was a character flaw behind them, so take a fearless inventory of your weaknesses. If you have a mentor—this is the time to speak with him or her. If you don’t—that’s a problem. Get one. You need a person who can guide you in this type of “inside job” growth. I believe one reason the “coaching” industry has grown so rapidly is because mentoring has become nearly a lost art.

#5. Forgive yourself and move on. A great leader once said, “Leave the past behind.” If we spend all our time mulling over our wrongs, then we are spending far too much time thinking about ourselves and not near enough time focusing on moving forward in the solution. Forget being the martyr. There is nothing less inspiring than a want-to-be leader lamenting without end their wrongs. Identify the m

r role in it through this process. If you don’t communicate it in clear, straight talking words, you will not be taking ownership of the failure in the eyes of your people, and they will infer you are passing the buck. Say it out loud, after receiving some coaching as to how to say it.

#3. Analyze the steps that led to failure. After realization and accountability, a cool, calm and collected look back at what steps—or missteps—you took to get to the point of failure is necessary. It’s very helpful to have others give input to this stage, preferably those with less emotional closeness to the issue. The employee who committed a crime under your tutelage was the symptom—the poor hiring process and failure of judgment on the part of those involved in the hiring of this person were some of the factors that contributed to this failure. Identify clearly the things that went wrong that led to the failure. Write them down. Again, I stress, having input from those not directly involved will help you approach this step with great objectivity. Be open to their outside insights.

#4. Take inventory of the behavioral shortcomings that contributed to the missteps. Our wrong actions that lead to failure are merely symptoms of deeper problems. If failure resulted from lack of attention to detail, perhaps we have to look at our lack of patience. If poor communications led to the downfall, a candid look at our ability to listen and empathize might uncover some opportunities for improvement. If our fear of confrontation kept us from speaking with an employee about his unethical behavior or poor client communications skills, then we have to take a good, hard look at what causes that fear. This is the stuff of leadership. Growing as a leader first requires growth as a person. Whatever missteps we took, there was a character flaw behind them, so take a fearless inventory of your weaknesses. If you have a mentor—this is the time to speak with him or her. If you don’t—that’s a problem. Get one. You need a person who can guide you in this type of “inside job” growth. I believe one reason the “coaching” industry has grown so rapidly is because mentoring has become nearly a lost art.

#5. Forgive yourself and move on. A great leader once said, “Leave the past behind.” If we spend all our time mulling over our wrongs, then we are spending far too much time thinking about ourselves and not near enough time focusing on moving forward in the solution. Forget being the martyr. There is nothing less inspiring than a want-to-be leader lamenting without end their wrongs. Identify the m

tail, perhaps we have to look at our lack of patience. If poor communications led to the downfall, a candid look at our ability to listen and empathize might uncover some opportunities for improvement. If our fear of confrontation kept us from speaking with an employee about his unethical behavior or poor client communications skills, then we have to take a good, hard look at what causes that fear. This is the stuff of leadership. Growing as a leader first requires growth as a person. Whatever missteps we took, there was a character flaw behind them, so take a fearless inventory of your weaknesses. If you have a mentor—this is the time to speak with him or her. If you don’t—that’s a problem. Get one. You need a person who can guide you in this type of “inside job” growth. I believe one reason the “coaching” industry has grown so rapidly is because mentoring has become nearly a lost art.

#5. Forgive yourself and move on. A great leader once said, “Leave the past behind.” If we spend all our time mulling over our wrongs, then we are spending far too much time thinking about ourselves and not near enough time focusing on moving forward in the solution. Forget being the martyr. There is nothing less inspiring than a want-to-be leader lamenting without end their wrongs. Identify the mistake, own it, understand what contributed to it, and move on into the solution.

#6. See what you did right. It’s not all bad; it never is. Don’t forget to write down the positive things you did; include your character attributes and virtues. Remember—every character flaw has an equal and opposite virtue on the other side of the coin. We are constantly acting out one side of the coin or the other. Take note of the times when the “good side” of the coin lands facing up! Very often, this step reveals that the behavioral shortcomings you uncover in strategy four are your virtues and strengths used to an unhealthy extreme. For instance, one of your virtues may be empathy—your ability to place yourself in another’s shoes. This virtue, gone wrong, may keep you from taking the tough hiring and firing decisions you need to take because you can feel, in advance, the pain of the employee who would be impacted by such a decision. Or your keen ability to organize people and events may lead to your inability to let up the reigns of control and delegate to those below you. Our wrongs are normally our rights out of whack. Keep your attributes in check so they remain assets.

#7. Fix what you broke. This is called cleaning up your side of the street and making amends. Some quick first aid to stem the flow is necessary while you begin the evaluative process. Again, it is often helpful to engage outside, objective assistance in this and the next steps in the strategy. Repair what damage you can and stop any gushing chest wounds quickly to avoid greater loss of blood.

#8. Develop checks and balances to ensure it does not happen again. Once you’ve identified what went wrong and why, establish systems to keep it from happening again. Create warning mechanisms that kick in when you begin to teeter on the edge of error again. If your failure was of a regulatory kind, this early warning system may be dictated to you. If so, comply. And take it further internally. You must take the point position in this as a leader. To err is human…to do it over and over again is dumb. Albert Einstein has been credited with saying, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them.

#9. Put into action a development and training plan to address shortcomings. Face head-on the behavioral shortcomings and skill gaps that you uncovered in point four. Embrace outside coaching or training, internal development programs and self-improvement programs. These efforts will help you develop new habits to replace the bad ones and new talents to deal with similar situations in the future. Continuous progress should be the standard.

#10. Teach others. This is the moment you become the great alchemist—turning base metal into gold, lemons into lemonade, failure into success, and one man’s trash into another man’s treasure. Passing on the wisdom you’ve gained by the mistakes you’ve made is what we are made to do. This is that thing called “purpose” we hear so much about these days. Passing it forward is how we turn our mistakes into something of value for others. And it is the best way for us to really learn from our failures, because we all know that you only really master something when you teach it. And we have to give it away in order to keep it—so teach others how you fell, what lessons you learned and, most importantly, how you stood up again and turned your lemons into lemonade.

This ten-point strategy won’t save you the pain of the game, but it will help you—and others—make it a winning one.